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A quick shout out to financial advisors for bringing this Associated Content Post!
To date, there have been 393,569 troops from the United States deployed to Iraq. This is a terrifying number when broken down. 393,569 families were left behind to fend for themselves while these soldiers went to war. Spouses, soldiers, and their families are now, and will continue dealing with the effects of these deployments. From financial woes, and “woo hoos,” to mental illness, infidelity and strengthened bonds, these military families are all affected by deployments to Iraq, during the tour, and long after the troops come home.
While the burden of handling finances may have once been a shared responsibility, a spouse may suddenly feel the full burden alone. If the deployed soldier is the one who usually manages the finances and does not properly prepare his spouse, she might miss payments, or be unaware of them completely. Some spouses also get carried away with the prospect of all this “extra” money and go “crazy” with it. Incredible debt, irrevocably damaged credit and late fees can ensue. When those factors add up it can lead to bankruptcy. However, on the flip side, the financial situation of a family can also greatly improve. With extra pay “benefits,” given to soldiers such as per diem, hazardous duty pay, and separation pay, families may choose to put away that money. It might go towards lowering debt, the purchase of a home, or car, or saving for children's college educations. This is a benefit that many poorly paid or indebted soldiers need to get their family on the right track to a better future.
The emotional and mental strain on the spouse left in the states is difficult to handle. The typical Army tour of duty lasts approximately twelve to fifteen months, with an approximately two week break sometime in that period. That is a long time to go without seeing a spouse. This can lead to marital problems. Being apart for so long is very stressful. Spouses and soldiers alike, can at times not regularly vent frustrations of day to day life, or express love and comfort to one another. Both parties might seek solace outside the marriage. This, in turn, can lead to lies, jealousy, rage, mistrust, and other negative feelings. Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. And it is an especially hard issue to tackle if the two parties are half a world apart. Though, some couples find that the old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” applicable. Some have found that daily heart-to-heart e-mails reveal a lot about themselves, their partners, and their marriage as a whole. Others also found that the sporadic phone calls were all the more meaningful because one could never be sure if/when the next one would come. Some spouses thrive on their newly found independence, while those who have always been taken care of may flounder.
It is arguable that deployments are hardest on the youngest members of families. For the most part young children do not understand why the deployed parent is not around anymore, or why they cannot just come home. The absence of a once permanent fixture in the home may greatly changes the dynamics of the home. Head of the household may shift, routines change, there might even be a move involved, or another family member moving in to help. Children easily and sometimes unconsciously pick up on and feed off the vibes of those around them. It may be hard for youngsters to process the anxious or worried feelings they pick up from adults. Children's school work might suffer; they might become withdrawn, or depressed. One of the most heart wrenching affects of deployments on families are the babies born while their fathers are deployed. These men may not have the chance to meet their children until months after they are born. New moms may feel the extra stress of having a newborn without the help of a spouse. Couples who had planned on having children soon often have to put those dreams on hold. The soldiers return also affects the children. If the soldier comes home injured or disfigured it can frighten children and it may take time for a child to get used to it. Children who are not used to his presence at home, or his discipline techniques may feel angry or confused. Younger children might have trouble remembering him at all and may be fearful.
The soldier's actual return to the states can also cause problems. The loss of previous “extra” money could shake up and disrupt a family's finances for the worse. Rebudgeting might have to occur. The spouse may feel awkward around the newly returned soldier, and things like getting used to sharing the remote control again, or deciding where to go to dinner, when it used to be the spouse's sole decision, can easily turn into major arguments. The soldier has to reintegrate himself into the home life that has revolved without him for many months. All this adjusting can be upsetting to everyone. As if that was not hard enough sometimes the soldier comes home wounded or with a mental illness. Depending on the injury or illness affecting the soldier he or she can become withdrawn, distant, and cold. The soldiers as well as their spouses might battle feelings of disgust, confusion, betrayal, and helplessness. And sometimes deployments lead to the ultimate tragedy. The soldier may not come home from the war at all. The death of a spouse, father, or other family member deployed can be especially hard. The loss is sudden, and sometimes the family has not seen the soldier for months on end. It can leave the family with a lack of closure. The death of a soldier can lead to depression in surviving family members unable to deal with the tragedy.
If a soldier or a soldier's family is in need of assistance, either while deployed, or upon the soldier's return, there are options available to them. Many programs are available to the families of deployed soldiers, either through the soldier's specific unit's Family Readiness Group, or private support groups that spring up. There are numerous support groups, counseling, financial advising, and loan programs for returning soldiers and their families to make use of, many at little to no cost. Though some deployments end in tragedy through death, or a relationship dynamic that cannot be reconciled, many soldiers return to live out happy and healthy lives.
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